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Apr 4 10 12:29 AM
And best of all is Calvinball
On Earth, around the turn of the third millennium, humans developed a miracle drug that would allow a person to live at least a million years. Calvin took this pill, and by the year 3009, had only aged a month. Susie took the pill also, and aged just as slowly. By the fourth millennium, the galaxy was divided into three equal parts: Calvan, Hobbsinian and Susican, which were ruled by Calvin, Hobbes and Susie respectively. For most of the time, the three factions competed and warred against each other. The Calvans and Hobbsinians only joined together near the end of the Blood Wars of 2997. Susie was the antagonist of both the Calvans and Hobbsinians, and wanted to conquer the whole galaxy. She only lost the Blood Wars when Calvin and Hobbes managed to sever her left arm. This arm was later replaced by a steel arm with a plasma blaster.
Twelve years later, Susie captured Jasphe, a Hobbsinian. Facing death by her hand, Jasphe betrayed Calvin and Hobbes to her. He knew the location of the Hobbsinian Outpost for the next two months, and the weaknesses of its weapon systems. He also relayed the rumor that the Calvan and Hobbsinian forces were scheduled to meet in a month's time at the Hobbsinian Outpost. With this information, Susie was able to destroy the Hobbsinian Outpost as well as Calvin's personal transport, the Slayer. In the process, Susie's forces killed over two million Hobbsinians and three million Calvans.
Calvin and Hobbes caught the last transport out from the Hobbsinian Outpost before it was destroyed. The transport flew to Antollox, the fourth planet of the Limal system. Antollox was the planet of Chosens and Invaders, people who shared the qualities of Spaceman Spiff. Calvin was one of five people who looked exactly like Spiff when dressed in full attire. Inside the Spiff Palace on Antollox, Calvin and Hobbes met with Spaceman Spiff, and they devised a plan to get back at Susie. However, they didn't realize that Susie's warship, the Striker, had followed their transport and entered orbit around Antollox.
A small transport flew from the Striker and used an extremely powerful black-market tractor beam to tear the roof off of the palace and bring Calvin, Hobbes and Spiff aboard. The pilot of the transport was none other than Susie herself. Susie aimed her blaster arm at Calvin, and he was promptly incinerated. Spiff and Hobbes mourned, calling Calvin "Spiff". Only then did Susie realize that the three had devised a plan, with Calvin and Spiff switching places. But now the plan was ruined, and Spiff was dead. Susie then decided to end things aboard the Striker. Once aboard, she ordered the Striker to make its way to the city-planet of Metropolitania and destroy it.
Calvin and Hobbes, along with several prisoner Hobbsinians, made a last desperate revolution aboard the Striker, but they were soon neutralized. The prisoners were given a choice: to either be blasted with Bun Gas (a gruesome death) or be put onto escape pods, jettisoned from the ship, and then be incinerated outside. The prisoners chose the escape pods.
Unbeknownst to Susie, hundreds of little red spaceships, manned by Chosens and Invaders, had taken off from Antollox and were now outside the Striker's shields. They began bombarding the Striker with Death Rays. This allowed the prisoners aboard the pods to barely make their escape. Calvin and Hobbes crash-landed their pod on the Incust Runway of Metropolitania, just scraping past a transport that was taking off. The duo then stole a fighter and shot out of orbit, along with thousands of other ships fleeing from Metropolitania. Except that Calvin and Hobbes didn't flee: instead, they steered their craft directly into the Planet Smasher weapon mounted on the Striker, and so sacrificed their lives to save Metropolitania. The Planet Smasher malfunctioned just as it was activated, causing the Striker to blow up and kill Susie.
All across the galaxy, Calvans and Hobbsinians celebrated, yet mourned the death of their leaders, the two greatest heroes they had ever known.
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